Bed Rest

First the good news...

We're having a GIRL!

We are very excited to welcome a girl into this world. I honestly was excited for either and didn't have a guess either way. I'm excited to have a little girl!

The complicated news...

I'm on bed rest. Until next Thursday at least.

On Monday afternoon Mark and I went to my doctor's office for the gender/anatomy ultrasound. It was scheduled for 4:15 and Mark and I both got there around 4. We sat and waited and waited while people would walk in, go back and come out. At least 4 patients had their entire appointment while we sat their. It was frustrating. I know this is how it works and there is nothing I can do about it (other than complain) but I was just so excited to find out our baby's gender. Around 4:45 we were finally called back.

The technician started the ultrasound and she was really, really nice. She would tell us what she was looking at or looking for. She answered questions and was willing to explain. I've had other ultrasounds where the person was not as nice. I think ultrasounds are amazing. It's amazing that we have the technology to see inside our bodies. During my 12-week ultrasound we saw the baby moving around. It's so nice to see your baby moving, knowing they are healthy and growing. Our baby is measuring right on target. Our ultrasound tech said she wins "most curled up" award of the day. She kept saying "your baby is why we call it the fetal position". She was able to get a shot at the goods and said "looks like a girl". This worried me a bit, I was thinking, could it be a boy then? She said ultrasounds are never 100% about gender. Everyone I've talked to said they always say that.

After she was finished measuring baby she started measuring my anatomy. She measured my ovaries and uterine lining. She was trying to measure my cervix but the baby was blocking a good shot at it. She got one measurement and didn't like it so she decided she wanted to do an internal ultrasound. I thought this was pretty normal so I didn't think anything of it. She came back in the room after I was ready and started the internal ultrasound. She made some measurements but wasn't saying anything. She said "I'm going to go and see if your doctor is available or if there is another doctor" Once again, as I am naive to this process, I didn't think this was completely out of the ordinary but thought it was odd. A nurse came and got me and took my weight, blood pressure, and temperature. She took me into an exam room and said my doctor would be in soon. It started to hit me that something wasn't right. I was pretty calm because the only thing I was worried about was the baby and the ultrasound tech said she looks great. So we waited again.

Dr. Channel came in around 5:40. She explained the situation. I'm a little fuzzy on everything she said exactly but I got the basics. I think I started to go into shock as she was talking. She said my cervix was measuring at 1.6 cm and I should be at least 3 cm. This is called short cervix and the risk is that my cervix could open or rupture and I could go into pre-term labor. Having a baby at 20 weeks is not good. The cause is unknown and for some women they might measure short one day and then fine the next. So she wanted me to have another ultrasound in the next two days. She said she wanted to do a pelvic exam before she decided anything else. She did one and said my cervix is closed, which is good news, and looks fine. However, because of the measurement she wanted me to go on immediate bed rest and start taking some medication to get my cervix to where it should be. I said okay to everything because, like I said, I've pretty sure I was in shock. She explained bed rest as no work, no cooking, no cleaning. That put me in a deeper shock. No work. As a teacher, not going to work is practically inconceivable. It's difficult to have a sub. You get behind and you have to relinquish control. My doctor called my mom and explained and then we left just after 6.

We went to Costco to get my prescription filled. On the way there I just cried. I couldn't believe it. I was feeling a lot of emotions (on top of current pregnancy hormones). I was mad it was all happening, I was sad I wasn't normal, I was scared about my job, I was confused, and I was just plain frustrated. I didn't want to go on bed rest. Mark and I discussed things as we sat and waited. Mark wasn't processing it well either. I interpreted his stress/worry as being detached and got mad at him. It wasn't fair to him at all. There were a lot of emotions. He is being very supportive.

 We revealed the gender to my family with the kids spraying me with pink silly string. It was fun. My parents didn't have power due to a storm that blew through the area but it all worked. At that point I was dazed.

We went home and I wrote my sub plans for the next two days. My doctor had scheduled an appointment for me to meet with a high-risk pregnancy doctor as Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM). The next day dragged on. I was frustrated. I felt fine, I felt healthy, I felt normal, but I had to sit around all day. That is the most difficult thing for me. I like to be active. I like to feel productive. I don't feel very productive sitting around when I feel like my body is capable. I have to tell myself that even though I feel capable, I'm not.

Today I went to my appointment at MFM. The ultrasound tech was rude and cold. I cried during the ultrasound and she acted like I was a freak. She was just rude. I asked her one question and she gave me a lecture about how she has a specific task and the is ALL she is doing today. I wanted to say a lot of things in return but I chose to sit in silence. My high-risk doctor, Dr. Harding, is really nice. He told me my cervix is measuring at 2.4 cm. He said that is great news and my body is heading in the right direction but I still have some way to go. He'd like to see me at 2.5 or above. He said it seems like whatever I'm doing is working and he told me he'd like me to be on bed rest for another week. He said we can schedule an ultrasound for next week and if all is well I can go back to work. He said he could probably send me back to work now but if I come in next week and I'm back down he would regret it. I understand where he is coming from but a week of bed rest sounds..... boring. But I'm going to do it for my baby. So here's to another week!

My goal is to stay positive. I'm still upset I can't work. I know it might sound petty but I really like my job. I miss teaching. I don't like that there is someone else teaching my lessons I've prepared. I want back in. My mom told me they would take one of my recliners into my classroom and I could teach from there. Depending on the news next Thursday, I might take her up on the offer.